Closure

20 January 2016.

All these matters have been dragged for very long. I have to find and get myself a closure somewhere.

Log into the hdb site and got a shock. Nonetheless, it's over. Clicked cancel and goodbye! Indeed, a very expensive lesson learnt. Gonna work damn hard to repay the debt. And again why must I pay for something that a mistake is not made by me. The only mistake was judgement. 

2016 Goals

While everyone is aging, i shall pen down my goal for 2016.

1) To be a healthier me, a fitter me! (can't believe that i went skating 2 days ago, I got muscle cramps in both legs and body ache the next day!)

2) To drink enough of water everyday.

3) Putting everything in the past and start afresh for career. Efforts!

4) Studies - Was very sad that i wasted money on Add/Drop course for this semester, thinking that i am able to take up Strategy! I have to push this module to 2017 Jan instead. sigh. Nonetheless, still hoping that i can clear all modules smoothly this semester onwards.

5) To pick up a new course (SOP for school holiday)

6) I wanna shop crazily! It's been awhile!!

7) Solo trip (Where to?)

8) Kick off finger biting habit.

9) Be more organised and independent.

10) I miss dancing though! not sure if i have the time to go for it again.

Please grant my wish

Dear God,

I am hoping and praying to pass my exams smoothly this month. Please grant me this request.

Thank you.

Thankful

Falls, setbacks, failures, who will be there to catch you?

Many said that you dont need many friends in life and you will see the truth of people especially when you are going through a hard time.

But i am blessed for these many friends in different groups who have always been there for me. ☺  ❤

Emcee course - Emcee Academy by Flying Dutchman

I am into my third week of Emcee course. So far so good. I am having lots of fun and there are a lot of good pointers to take note in class. 

My textbook has never been so "dirty" with so much scribblings. 

There are homework weekly which we have to prepare. There are expectations in class. There will be a theme set every week and we have to dress up according to the theme. 

Week 2: Rock

Week 3: Caberet

Next lesson: Country and western (helpppp)

Every week, quite stressful to look into my limited clothes in my wardrobe for the theme. I have to send my awkward selfie to my friends and ask if it is alright. :X 

Thank you Chengyee, Mic, Lynn and Vivian for that!

I would like to beg to differ on stage fright issue that I have mentioned in my previous post. I have serious stage fright now. I don't know why but it's quite frightening to go on stage during class. 

My classmates at course are great too. Everyone is quite on the ball. ❤️

There was even a suggestion of study group to practice and help one another to improve.  

Things to take note and improve on:

To listen to more shows on radio, that would help me to improve my command of English. 

New journey... signing up a new course

So.. I have signed up the batch 9 of emcee academy course by Flying Dutchman... sadly, this would also be the last batch of the course..

I was very hesitated to sign up because the first 2 classes will fall in the midst of my exam period.

But after hearing feedback from Desmond, who had attended the course and mentioned that he had very good returns after attending the course, i went on to ask my sister and some close friends.

So since i am single again now, all encouraged me to do what i want now. At the same time, they hope i can get over and move on with my life too. Thank you so much for the support, especially my sist and mum. :)

There are many reasons why i want to sign up this course.

1) Build up my public speaking skill.
2) Learning the right techniques when presenting yourselves on stage or on the frontline.
3) Many times, i have been approached to be an emcee for weddings from friends. I dont know why but i always decline them as i don't think i can give my best.

Frankly speaking, I do not have stage fright after so much trainings through tertiary educations, non-profit organisation presentation or speaking on stage. So this round, i try not to turn down good friends who approach me. I want to put on my best for them, thus, signing up also partly i hope i can help my friends planning for the wedding to save 1 headache off their mind.

Through this course, i hope one day, i am able to speak or host on stage without any scripts.

Lastly, i know i do not have a good foundation of both English and Mandarin. I hope i can slowly become better too.

What motivates me in life

This question was posted to me in an interview Last week. "What motivates me in life?" I came back home and regret what I answered.

Came to think of it,  I think failures motivate me in life.  Because without failures,  you won't be able to improve and knowing where to move on in life. Looking from My past till now, I think I failed in many stuff.

1) Studies - this is one area which I never excel in My whole life.

Starting from PSLE, I was happy that I was able to opt for the Express stream and I thought I did My parents proud that I am not in normal stream (cos nobody among My cousins were in the normal stream, So you understand where the pressure was?)

Went through Secondary school,  I don't know what happen to me that I couldn't cope with My studies. I remembered I could even score a fantastic marks for my literature which nobody may believe. You can count the marks with fingers. End of the year,  I couldn't make it to maintain in Express stream with My classmates. So I had to go to the Normal Stream in Secondary two. 

With the 'bo tak cheh ' (never study in hokkien ) attitude,  I was lucky that I managed to clear My 'N' level but not for the 'O'.  I was lost at that time when i received my results but a very nice teacher, Mr Hari,  encouraged me to apply for repeat. I was very stubborn back then but still heed for his advice reluctantly. Although a second chance was given, My grades did improve from My previous year grades, I still couldn't make it for Diploma in a local Polytechnic. 

And again,  Mr Hari insisting me to apply for ITE which in the past, people believed that "It's The End " for anyone who goes through ITE. 

It wasn't that bad actually after going through two years of ITE. I was able to go into the first choice of the course I have chosen. Best of all,  I didn't expect that I made it into Polytechnic. 

Clearing My Diploma was also another achievement for me.

I hate studies actually but I do enjoy the process.  Sounds contradicting, I know. But it's the process that I have gone through to tell myself that it's ok even I am slower than any other of My peers. I still make it in the end.

2) Career - After leaving my previous job in the education sector, I faced alot of challenges. As I was heading to a new industry,  I had to clear those financial papers. It was a chore to me (well, u know that I hate studying).

I faced a lot of dilemmas which I actually kept to myself. It was not easy. 

I don't know how to put it in words but it was really bad.

It's a long story that those who were with me during down time would know and I am really thankful for that.

a little reflection for myself:

Last week,  met up with My Uni friends for dinner. Serena asked if I regret quitting my previous job in the education industry.  I said no.  I did not regret,  neither do I regret joining the finance industry.

Today,  I went back with Haryati after school,  She was with me throughout my struggles,  happiness,  everything on my new career.  We were happily chatting in the cab and recapping on the process I had gone through.  One thing I shared was, anything that can be solved by money is not a problem.  This was shared by a senior teacher when I was working in school.

The next thing I mentioned was,  if I didn't join my friend in the first place, I may not know what's really good and bad in an organisation.  And again, processes we faced and learnt in life.

You may be thinking in what way I have failed. There's a lot to share but I am not sure If I am able to as I am afraid that I might get into compliance matter So I wont be sharing. 

But a piece of advice for anyone who is going to join the financial industry, you really have to join the right person.

Now,  I am thankful and grateful for friends who had helped me, stood by my side during my rainy days and check on my daily activity,  listen to me,  giving me their honest opinions, concerning on my finances, etc! 

How am I going to perform will all depends.  I am not saying that I am successful here but u know, the setbacks I had gone through really changed alot of my thinking, my opinions on human beings too.